Hi Friends,

For those of you who are members of my Facebook group called Nu-buntu you will know that I recently acknowledged some mistakes that I have made. Mainly, that I let my personal ideals of living without spending money become the focus of that group.
Nu-buntu was always meant to be about making a difference and not about my personal journey. I sent a message stating that I will be removing the No Money Guy and his mission from the group and leave it to be about making in a difference in any and all ways. Nu-buntu to me means Ubuntu in the 21st century.

I received a fair amount of feedback after sending that out, some encouraging some critical. I’ve decided to share 2 of the critical ones with you for 2 reasons:

1. I want people to know that I need and welcome challenge. If it weren’t for being challenged I would not have been able to see the mistakes I was making and make adjustments.
2. I believe many people may have thought similar things and not said anything about it. I hope that by seeing the criticism and my responses they may be in a better position to get what I am trying to do and where I’m coming from.

The first bit of feedback came from a Facebook friend called Elton Cilliers, who sent me the following inbox message. What I appreciate about this feedback is that it was honest and constructive. Please read on:

Elton wrote:

I’m going to be brutally honest with you. I added you as a friend several months ago when your mission statement was one of making a difference to peoples lives and living without the need of money, donating every cent of money you did earn. Unfortunately I have lost a lot of faith in you over the past few months because all I’ve seen is your own personal desires being aired. How much you’d like to get onto the Ellen show, how much you want to be allowed to apply for the Oprah competition. This is not what you are supposed to be about. Your mission statement was to make a difference, one person at a time, you do not need these shows to do that. Forget about them, get on with what you set out to do and THEN people will notice YOU! Remember, you are not supposed to be in this for fame. You don’t try to make a difference by looking for fame, you do it because you believe its the right thing to do. Whether any of these ‘important’ people notice you or not, should be irrelevant. Concentrate on what you set out to do and forget about all the high profile stuff. Start your own Ubuntu TV with a webcam and Youtube.

Get back on track before you loose sight of the goal my friend.

This is what I wrote back:

Hi Elton,

Thank you for being brutally honest. It’s exactly what I have needed. It is thanks to the few people who challenged me some weeks ago that I was able to look at myself and my actions critically.

I am going to respond to you but I hope it doesn’t sound like I am making excuses for myself. Ok, I’m just going to be honest and hope for the best.

When I first started my mission to live without spending money it was a strategy. I thought it was the best way to make money to give away. I also thought that giving money away was the only way to make a difference. I thought it would get attention and gain trust, both I thought I needed for people to support businesses that I hoped we would create. I had no idea how tough it would actually be nor did I know how it would affect me as a human being, and how important it would become to me.

So, more than a year in I have basically only succeeded on surviving without spending money, I never got the point where I was able to give back. I still have many of my own needs that aren’t met and if it wasn’t for the support of my family I wouldn’t have survived at all.

I thought that the best way to make a difference was by giving money away to people that were already making a difference. And I hoped that by creating businesses that gave money away it would be more effective than the traditional fundraising route. I don’t know if you agree with me but for that to work you have to go to big corporates who often only give because it looks good or you have to try get money from working people, or business people and they often don’t have it to give away.
The mistake I made was insisting that these businesses, that I hoped to create, operate without spending money too. This proved too challenging so a lot of talking, and even more thinking happened, but not enough action. I let a very idealistic and personal belief (doing it without spending money) get in the way of progress.
I guess that my personal struggle to get by living without money didn’t leave me much time nor energy to lead this process effectively. If I hadn’t yet figured out how to live well without spending money, it isn’t too much of a surprise to me now that I could not get businesses of the ground that didn’t spend money. There’s hindsight for you
So over a year into the project and not one business was started.

I haven’t let go of my ideals, I now just see that a process is required before they can be realised. I would love to see people and business operating free of the current money system, but until that happens there is much good that can be done within that system. I have been watching oranisations like the Venus Project, the Community Exchange System (a South African initiative) and other similar projects and they all are wise enough to realise that they can use money to create the future they want to see. I have learned that lesson now.

With regards to my personal desires, as you put them, I agree with you but only partly. My personal desires are always within a bigger picture context. Getting on the Ellen Show would have been massive exposure for this project. I guess I am glad it didn’t materialise yet because I needed to get my house in order first. I won’t lie that I would love to meet Ellen and it would be an awesome experience to get on her show, but the exposure is what I wanted and would have helped the cause immeasurably.
I did not seek her out either, I discovered that she was following me on Twitter and thought it was a good opportunity to follow up on that.

The Oprah competition is the same. I agree with you, I can do it on my own and probably will have to…it such a long shot that I even get in. But, the show I pitched is about making a difference. With the backing of a powerful woman like Oprah, and the platform created by her network the reach would be huge. I admit that I am very attached to working with Oprah. I have dreamed about it for ages. The learning and experience to be gained from participating in the competition is also immeasurable and I am not going to apologise for going after it. The reality is, like you say, that if we create it here first on our own people who can help us might take notice.
I have registered for a TV presenter’s course happening on Saturday for just that reason. Nu-buntu TV will exist with my Flip camera and a Youtube channel whether Oprah likes it or not!

I have some interesting views on fame. What if fame is an under untilised commodity in the sphere of making a difference? I agree with you, fame should never be the goal. Whether you are a singer or an actor or an athlete, you should do what you do because you love to do it and/or because you want to impact the world in some way. But, fame is powerful. Sadly it is often abused or squandered. But some people like Oprah, Ellen, Bono and many others are using their celebrity to make a difference.
Maybe the world needs a new kind of celebrity. What if people didn’t have to wait to become famous in other ways before they used it to do good? What if people could be celebrated for doing good? Sure there are perks to being a celeb but I would rather those perks go to people making the world a better place than to a dodgy rapper for e.g.
Celebs get stuff for free because they have people paying attention to them. They are valuable to brands they associate with. If we could make people pay attention to do-gooders, then maybe they could get the sponsorships, maybe they could get the things they needed to make the difference they want to make.
I don’t maybe, I am being too idealistic again, but I think I’m on to something here.

Ok, to end off I want to say that I have learned a very valuable lesson over the last few weeks. That is that idealism alone doesn’t change the world, action does. And that action has to be based in our current reality for it to be effective.

Thanks again for challenging me in this way.

If any else has any thoughts, comments or questions regarding this please engage me.

You can read a less constructive bit of feedback and my response by reading Feedback & Comebacks – Part 2